And I’m not alone. Nearly everyone, at some point, has used fillers when speaking; it’s a reality that’s been prevalent throughout history. But what causes us to use these fillers? Do they serve an important language function? Or does anxiety and nervousness play a vital role? According to experts, it’s a little of both.

“General anxiety makes us extremely uncomfortable with silence when we are speaking in front of people,” says Joanne Mathews, a public speaking coach from Oregon. “In this case, the fillers are our futile attempt to keep everyone’s attention.” She hints at the irony of this since silence between phrases is much more enthralling for an audience than ums and uhs.

In Mathews’ experience, the more impromptu the speaking opportunity, the more fillers we use. “Think of how most of us come across when we are put on the spot with little or no time to prepare,” she says. “We are thinking as we speak and, therefore, need to buy time to find the right words.”

Colorado-based speaking coach Andi O’Conor, who has worked with countless Fortune 100 companies, says this even affects people who are experienced speakers. “They go into a meeting or a presentation and they try to wing it.” What happens, she says, is that they end up saying uh or um because they don’t know what they’re going to say next.

George Lakoff, a distinguished professor of cognitive science and linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley, says uh, um, oh, ah and say are words in English that have a meaning in the pragmatics of communication. “These have been studied in great detail by linguists,” he says.

Pragmatics involves the social language skills we use in our daily interactions with others, including what we say, how we say it, our body language, and choosing and changing our language based on a given situation. Planning what to say is considered a pragmatic marker, with um and uh being two of these specialized markers. Some experts go as far as calling uh and um conversation managers and legitimate words. Even though they believe using too many fillers can be distracting, they suggest that “by signaling a delay is coming, a speaker avoids a silent gap in conversation that might otherwise prove confusing to a listener.”

But many professional speaking coaches suggest silence is more powerful. In O’Conor’s opinion, the most influential speakers know how to do a full stop on something before starting the next sentence, for impact. She also says silence can be a great service to your listeners because cognitively our brains are always a few beats behind during a speech, and so “we need pauses in order to digest and process the information.”

So, the big question is this: Can we stop ourselves from using fillers? If so, how?

According to O’Conor, aside from practicing and being fully prepared there’s plenty we can do both mentally and physically to prevent fillers from creeping into our speech. The simplest technique, which she uses with her own clients, is envisioning punctuation as we talk. “Imagine putting an invisible period on the end of your sentences while you speak. Imagine that you can see periods or commas in your speech as you’re speaking,” says O’Conor. She says this can be an instant cure for some people.

She also recommends three additional steps: power posing, smiling and countering any negative thoughts with positive ones. She suggests Amy Cuddy’s Wonder Woman pose, where you stand with your hands on your hips right before giving a speech or presentation. Cuddy, a social psychologist, has found that the pose increases your testosterone and lowers your cortisol. It also opens up your chest so you can breathe and speak better. Smiling increases your serotonin, which is the happy drug for your brain. Together, power posing and smiling can make all the difference in the world.

Mentally, there are what O’Conor calls the three gremlins: imposter syndrome (or self-doubt), thinking that your presentation or speech is boring and worrying that listeners might judge you. To psych yourself up, she recommends recording yourself saying, “I belong in this room, I have an interesting talk, and everyone in this room wants me to succeed,” and listening to it right before giving a speech or presentation.

Mathews thinks we spend too much time worrying about the ums and uhs and not enough time on other aspects of our public speaking. “Too many of us have been taught that ‘it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.’ Wrong! It’s absolutely what you say.” Technique is important, but the most critical part of a great presentation is the message. “Remember that, like it or not, public speaking is the most effective way to bring about change. Speakers need to look at time in front of others as a way to bring about the change they want to see,” she says. Once a speaker has connected to why they are in front of an audience and what they want to accomplish, development and delivery come much more easily. 

This article was published in January 2018 and has been updated. Photo by GaudiLab/Shutterstock

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“Play to your strengths.” You might read it on a billboard or a T-shirt. But what does it really mean? I’ve always assumed that my strengths align with the things I do well. I’m a leader, excellent at multitasking and extremely detail-oriented. I was surprised to learn that strengths are, in fact, mostly independent of skills. Skills are things we learn. They come and go throughout our lifetime. Strengths, on the other hand, align more with our personality traits and overall character, which are relatively constant, though they can be further developed and refined.

Related: Answer 3 Questions to Identify Your Strengths

The post Why You Need to Identify Your Strengths appeared first on SUCCESS.

In a moment of adrenaline-fueled curiosity, Peterson plunged his arms into the water and wrapped his body around the reptile’s shell. Turtle versus boy, Peterson emerged victorious. He gloated as the oversized beast waded unharmed back into the murky brush and disappeared. The turtle was one of hundreds of species Peterson encountered throughout his early years.

When he wasn’t immersed in a creek or exploring the forest, Peterson was glued to animal adventure TV shows, including Steve Irwin’s Crocodile Hunter. He also spent a great deal of time at the local library, captivated by books such as 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Misty of Chincoteague. Together, these simple childhood experiences changed the young explorer’s life forever.

In his new book Brave Adventures: Wild Animals in a Wild World, Peterson says, “There are moments in your life where time becomes divided into two parts… ‘before this’ and ‘after this.’” After his encounter with “The Dragon,” Peterson knew his future included some combination of animals and adventure.

Related: 5 Steps to Turn Your Passion Into Your Profession

Today, Peterson hosts Brave Wilderness, a network of shows that has accumulated more than 1.1 billion views and 7.4 million subscribers on YouTube. Each episode features up-close animal encounters, in which Peterson often endures stings, pinches, kicks, bites and barbs from an endless array of creatures. But Brave Wilderness hasn’t been a solo journey. It’s a team effort that began when Peterson and his business partner, Mark Laivins, director and producer of Brave Wilderness, met during college.

The partners share what has made their journey successful.

1. Perfect your concept while keeping your day job.

At school, the creatives honed their screenwriting and filmmaking skills, learning all they could about the craft, including the narrative and theatrical cinematic aspects that have since become synonymous with the Brave Wilderness brand. They spent six years perfecting the concept, shooting and editing hours of footage, before launching their YouTube channel in 2014. They did this while holding down full-time jobs.

“We both had day jobs that were amazing in that our respective bosses gave us a lot of leeway when it came to using our vacation time to go on trips to film, or taking meetings or interviews during the day to pitch projects,” Laivins says, who refers to these years as “Plan B to get to Plan A.”

2. Anticipate change and embrace unexpected opportunities.

As any entrepreneur knows, business plans often change. The partners had initially planned to create an independent film. When the economy took a downturn in 2008, market opportunities withered, especially for two guys from Ohio. TV became their next best option, yet before anything materialized, they were introduced to digital media.

“[Digital media] was something that happened out of coincidence. And we’re so glad it did, because it’s the reason we’re as successful as we are today,” Peterson says. According to him, kids today don’t know what cable is, “[b]ut if you ask them if they have an iPad or a smart device, and what they watch, they’re going to tell you, YouTube.”

3. Leverage your strengths and unique skillset (no matter how unusual).

Peterson never intended to be in front of the camera. “When you start developing an animal show,” he explains, “you think to yourself, Wow, it would be great to cast somebody in the role of an animal adventure host, yet that’s not something just anybody can do.” Since Peterson could catch and present animals, the team built the concept around his unique skillset, while also leveraging his signature strengths: a charismatic personality and an engaging narrative voice.

Mark stayed behind the camera filming, while also directing and producing episodes. Mario Aldecoa, a wildlife biologist and photographer, who has also become a familiar face on Brave Wilderness, was brought on as the company’s first full-time employee. The team continues to grow as each member leaves their Plan B for Plan A, bringing with them a variety of strengths and skillsets.

4. Create a streamlined process and never sacrifice quality.

To keep their audience—known as the Coyote Pack—hungry and engaged, the team batch produces and releases two new episodes a week. On their last trip to Costa Rica, they filmed 18 videos in the span of 10 days. “These aren’t just your standard vlog videos,” Laivins says. “These are narrative stories with a beginning, a middle and an end.”

But quality is never sacrificed for quantity. Using a well-refined, streamlined process the team has perfected over the years, each episode includes music, voiceover narration, sound effects and color correction. “We put into every single episode what a director may put into an entire feature film,” Laivins says.

5. Replicate greatness and the culture that surrounds it.

“We come from a generation of people who grew up on Steven Spielberg and George Lucas,” Peterson says. They watched what these filmmakers did with their movie franchises and how they captivated their audiences, and replicated their techniques to reach a new generation of kids in the digital space.

“What people like Steven Spielberg did really effectively, outside of creating amazing products with amazing quality, was they were able to create a culture around their projects,” Laivins says. YouTube allows the team to easily communicate and engage with their fans, creating a similar culture.

6. Surround yourself with people who share a common vision and passion.

Although experts often warn against starting a business with friends and family members, the gamble has paid off for the Brave Wilderness team. “We were all friends before we went down this path,” says Peterson. Even though they were told that it’s a dangerous thing to do in the world of business, then and now, they all share a common vision and dream: being able to travel the world and educate people about animals and promote conservation.

Passion can separate a great business from a mediocre one. Peterson also attributes perseverance and commitment for the success of Brave Wilderness. “The biggest lesson is just to always know that even when people tell you no, that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.” When something feels right, he says with familiar enthusiasm, keep at it. “Eventually, it will lead somewhere good.”

Related: 5 Tips for Entrepreneurial Success

Photos courtesy of Wilderness Productions

The post How a Snapping Turtle Sparked the Adventure of a Lifetime appeared first on SUCCESS.

Aside from his executive orders and fiscal successes, he also became a global leader in the resettlement of Vietnam War refugees, welcoming them with open arms to the U.S., and was essential in passing the Iowa Burials Protection Act of 1976 to protect American Indian grave sites. By the time he left office, his governorship had stretched 14 years.

In Ray’s honor, the Robert D. Ray Pillar of Character Award—now the Robert D. and Billie Ray Pillar of Character Award—has been presented each year to an individual “who demonstrates good character as a role model and reflects former Gov. Robert D. Ray’s lifelong commitment to civility and character development,” according to a Drake University article. Actor, humanitarian and Iowa native Ashton Kutcher was the recipient of the award in April 2017. During his speech, Kutcher questioned if his character had “peaked,” joking, “If I’m peaking at 39 on character, that can be a real big problem.” He then made an interesting observation: “You can’t peak, because you’re never done building your character. It legitimately never ends.”

Does his statement have merit?

Many components of the human experience and physiology can be measured, revealing some ideal “peaking” ages, including:

• Your brain processing power may peak around age 30.
• Strength may peak around our early to mid-20s or 30s.
• Bone mass may peak at around 20 to 30 years of age.

What is character?

Character, however, is rather ambiguous. Is there a point when our character peaks? If there is a pinnacle, does character remain a constant once it has been reached? Can character even be measured?

While character might be a word we toss around without a second thought, when asked, we may struggle to define it. Christian Miller, the A.C. Reid professor of philosophy and the director of the Honesty Project at Wake Forest University, defines someone’s character as their collection of moral traits (moral character).

Virtues and vices

According to Miller, moral character traits fall into two broad categories: moral virtues and moral vices. Honesty and humility are examples of virtues; cruelty and cowardice demonstrate vices. “Virtues are acquired excellences,” Miller says. “We are not born with them, but it is possible to develop them slowly over time.” A virtue has many features, including:

• Leading to good actions that are appropriate to the situation.
• Leading to actions that are performed in a variety of different situations relevant to the virtue.
• Leading to actions that are done for the appropriate reasons or motives.
• Leading to a pattern of motivation and action that is stable and reliable over time. 

For example, Miller explains, an honest person does the honest thing in relevant circumstances, which range widely from moments in a courtroom to a party, the office, etc. This is a stable feature of their character that persists over time. When they do the honest thing, they do it for the right reasons. “Wanting to make a good impression on someone or wanting to avoid guilt would not count as the good motives or reasons, typically,” Miller says.

The culture of character

According to the writings of cultural historian Warren Susman, the use of the term “character” began in the 17th century and increased in prominence by the 19th. As he wrote in his book, Culture as History, “By 1800 the concept of character had come to define that particular modal type felt to be essential for the maintenance of the social order. The term itself came to mean a group of traits believed to have social significance and moral quality, ‘the sine qua non of all collective adjustment and social intercourse.’ In the age of self-consciousness, a popular vision of the self defined by the word ‘character’ became fundamental in sustaining and even in shaping the significant forms of the culture.” 

“Our character is our worth; it’s why we matter,” says Bill Puka, a former professor and psychologist in the cognitive science department at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

The culture of character that Susman wrote about, however, which once focused on self-sacrifice, began to shift: “It is further a striking part of the turn-of-the-century decade that interest grew in personality, individual idiosyncrasies, personal needs and interests. The vision of self-sacrifice began to yield to that of self-realization.” In this culture of personality driven by self-realization, or what some might call “selfie culture,” people seem focused on how they present themselves on social media and, in turn, how they may be perceived by others.

“‘Virtue’ has become a less popular word than it was in the past,” Miller says. He worries about social media’s potential impact on narcissistic tendencies, and the anonymity and moral distancing that may allow harassment, bullying and other negative behaviors to become increasingly widespread.

Constant growth is necessary

Whether character is a forgotten ideal, Miller agrees with the sentiment of Kutcher’s remark. “Character is malleable, and we can shape our character over the course of a lifetime,” he says.

Puka believes if your character peaks, it had better stay there or you may find yourself on a downward spiral. “Even staying steady is a deficiency, because you should be developing your character more and more your whole life, as Kutcher implies,” Puka remarks.

In Miller’s opinion, “peaking” could imply the idea that there is such a thing as perfect virtue. Although he thinks it makes sense to talk about being perfectly compassionate or honest in theory, the reality is that it’s highly unlikely any of us will ever come close to perfect virtue. So, character can’t peak in this sense.

But Miller says there are numerous ways to measure character from a psychological perspective, including covert behavioral observation, lab behavioral observation, peer reports, experience sampling and implicit association tests. There are also various obstacles that may hinder the development of a person’s character, which could include genetics, upbringing, environment and pressures to conform or consume.

Although character does not necessarily peak, it can be measured. “Personally, when I encounter someone of character or real integrity, their level of commitment and gravitas come through first,” Puka says. “But it has to be in relation to stellar values and principles. Those are very difficult to doubt.”

This article was updated June 2023. Photo by Ground Picture/Shutterstock

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